• Matt [in Middletown]

    Panel 1: I will deliberate with my AWESOME beard of AWESOMENESS! (goes behind curtain, turns into a superhero.)

    • Moxie

      Uncle Jesse?!

  • Honza Prchal

    Girl pops out of ceiling, calls you handsome – file under archetypal male fantasy #436.

    • Matt [in Middletown]

      Waking up on the counter in the ladies room actually happened.

      • Honza Prchal

        Sounds like a delightful ’80s movie or a Victorian salvation or horror penny dreadful.

        • Matt [in Middletown]

          Somehow my female friends thought this would be hilarious.
          And I used to sleep very soundly.
          It was bad.

          • Honza Prchal

            So … had it been Summer Camp, you’d be on your inflatable mattress bobbing up and down in the middle of Lake Winnipeesket, or woken with one eyebrow entirely missing? Could’ve been worse.

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            True.
            Instead I woke up to hear someone washing their hands under my knees.

          • Honza Prchal

            Ah. I am aggressively and vigorously assuming you had PJs for the evening. Sorry for the image, but I just finished reading an article https://www.citylab.com/navigator/2017/04/fight-over-naked-parks-beaches-germany/523710/?utm_source=digg&utm_medium=email on the steady decline of “naturism” even in Germany. (I had family highly into it on the German fringe of Europe … I’ve no trouble with Speedos, but I am thrilled to see naturism dying off.)

          • Such an interesting discussion. You guys are fun XD

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Hopefully, you can draw inspiration from terrible life choices and experiences.
            :-P

          • KBoysx1

            Yep! My school life is comedy gold.

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            “You know it’s about to go sideways when you’re sitting on the toilet and the Skyrim theme starts playing.” -overheard

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            I was wearing jeans and a tee-shirt.
            I had nodded off in a corner and my friends decided to decorate various locations with my sleeping carcass.

          • Honza Prchal

            I’m feelin’ narcoleptic, I’m feelin’ narcoleptic … zzzz snap, I don’t think so! – to the tune of that cool part of “The Power” http://www.metrolyrics.com/the-power-lyrics-snap.html

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            I did have a pretty rough day, so crashing out was expected earlier than that moment.

          • Moxie

            There are websites dedicated to that. “With friends like these, who needs enemies?” I wonder if it’s possible to get sharpie poisoning?

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Sharpie poisoning, I believe that could be a thing though the actual method may be more troubling than it is worth.
            (“Dude, we totally cut open these sharpies and made this guy drink it like an espresso!” -Yeah, that would be completely more trouble than it is worth.)
            Oh, wait.. you weren’t looking for how to poison someone with a sharpie.
            Sharpie facepainting may not be enough exposure to actually cause toxicity.

          • Moxie

            lol you’ve got to see some of these photographs though. There’s one guy whose entire left side, at least on the anterior surface, was sharpied from hairline to the cuticles on his toes. Crazy! I don’t know how toxic they are, but I have to figure that dermal absorbency and over that much area has got to have at least some effect. 🤔

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Quite possible that dermal absorption could make you feel ill.
            Hmm..

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Had to go back and think about sharpie poisoning.
            It would probably take a hecka lot of sharpie.
            Drinking it like an espresso would be more efficient at doing it.

          • Moxie

            At first glance I thought you said Lake Winnipesaukee, back home in New Hampshire. 😺

      • KBoysx1

        Ugh. Oh my God… What happened last night?

    • KBoysx1

      Closest I’ve gotten to any archetypal male fantasy is getting kicked in the groin. Plus most of my many personalities, spare two, are ace. So to me, those really don’t matter much. Also, ouch

      • Honza Prchal

        Ouch indeed. Fortunately, all the wobbly bits move around a lot in order to [USUALLY] minimize life-altering consequences.

    • Moxie

      0.o. Not ordinarily a fantasy occurring in the head, however…

  • KBoysx1

    The Judge’s beard is pretty damn awesome. I like it, but my family wouldn’t. I’m trying to go for the Kenobi beard: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/73a6e81fc4dcf3d6e51722b8ea23052893dc65db738e0be54b24dd8502bc9028.jpg

  • NickDA

    In related news… I’m missing out on some awesome stuff while I’m away at work:
    https://www.facebook.com/nickhsharp/videos/vb.1234552143/10212666898327419/?type=2&theater&notif_t=video_processed&notif_id=1493178264090927

    That nickname is never going away.

    • i think that link may be busted.

      • NickDA

        Can you try it now? I swapped it for a google drive/photos link… stupid facebook.

        • Permissions? I’m denied.

          • NickDA

            RARG… I’ll try again…. now with a Drive link…. it says anyone with the link can view… I think its full of !#@$

          • KBoysx1

            Need to borrow my icon for a bit?

    • KBoysx1

      It’s working now

    • NickDA

      PS – I lied… its not related at all… but I thought you crowd would appreciate my daughters new nickname which she now believes is her middle name.

      • I’d have to be able to understand what they’re saying to appreciate it ;P

        Nicki Voldemort Shark?

        • NickDA

          Yeah, got to get better at other kid toddler speak. Yeah, her new nickname is Voldemort… and she says our last name as Shark not Sharp… And someone convinced her that’s her full name now instead of Nickole Dara Sharp.

          • Delta-v

            Given the toddler tendency to murder syllables, you’re lucky that that doesn’t come out as “Nikka Da Shark”. :)

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            That’s secret agent Nikka Da Shark in all likelihood.

  • KBoysx1

    Oh my God Tenzin that smirk :)

  • KBoysx1

    Guys I’ve spotted a Smert Fone! I repeat, I’ve spotted a Smert Fone

    • Matt [in Middletown]

      Beware of Smert Phones, they are evil and likely to, er, smert things.

      • KBoysx1

        I wish I had listened to you. Because I don’t trust teachers with my phone, I put it in my shoe like normal, right. But at the very end of testing, my Siri went off because I forgot to silence it. Luckily, the teacher knows I don’t trust people, and just had me silence it. Siri is too smert

        • Matt [in Middletown]

          Now imagine if Siri did her evil while you were trying to sneak.
          Insta-smert

          • KBoysx1

            I don’t use Instagram. Plus taking your phone out without permission is a suspension. I was able to get permission to silence Herr, and I can’t cheat after I finished the test. What’s even funnier,in that awkward silence, my friend goes to the restroom, but his shoes were super squeaky. So we’re all trying not to laugh because someone’s still testing, but we almost lost it :D

  • Ian Brown

    BEST
    PICK UP LINE
    EVER!
    (pun intended :3)

  • The new Zelda game is pretty addictive, eh? I don’t blame you.
    Extra props to Seba for that smirk in the last panel. Love it, love it, love it.