Interviews with readers and creators


Jan 2015

Character Interview: Captain Tenzin Dorje

Posted by / in Spotlight Interviews / 25 comments

You asked, and Tenzin answered!  Here are Tenzin’s responses to your questions, which we got his psychologist to sneak into his latest therapy session ;)

D: Please speak clearly into the microphone, as always, as you state your name and rank for the record.

T: Tenzin Dorje. I assume I’m technically still a Captain?

D: Place of birth?

T: Seriously, do we have to go through the whole set of standard questions again?

D: I suppose we can get a little…creative today.

T: Sounds good to me.

D: Very well then.  Who do you think would win in a fight: pirates or ninjas?

T: Excuse me?

D: Answer the question, Captain.

T: Well, ninjas. Obviously. Assuming we’re on land.

D: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

T: Oh come on, this isn’t what I meant.  That doesn’t even make sense!

D: I see.  A little feisty today.  Let’s try something simpler.  What is your favorite food?

T: Standard Rations number 12, with a side of 73!  What’s this all about?

D: You didn’t want the standard questions, so just sit there and answer these! Do you believe in God or practice any religion?

T: *sigh* Not really.  I was raised Buddhist, but I don’t really believe any of the religious aspects.  Although I do meditate and practice some of the other rituals.

D: You were raised by monks, if I recall.  Did they teach you martial arts?

T:  That’s correct.  They started training me in kung fu.  I don’t specialize in any one discipline, but rather have tried to study and learn from as many different disciplines as possible, taking elements that I like and making them my own.

D: After you, uh, left the monastery, you spent some time alone, living in the woods.  Did you enjoy this?

T: Enjoy it?  Have you ever been out of the compound?  There isn’t really much to eat out in the wild.  Every day was a struggle, a battle to survive whatever the world could throw at me.  Wild animals, raiders, freezing rain.  It’s just you versus the universe out there.

D: So…yes?

T: $%*# yes I enjoyed it.  I never felt more alive than I did then.

D: Do you regret joining Minerva?

T:  No.  No, I don’t.  I think I’ve been able to accomplish more with them than I could on my own.

D: You traveled quite extensively during this time.  Did you ever make it out of Asia?

T: No, I never got that far.

D: Where would you go visit if you could?  

T: I don’t know.  Maybe Japan?  It doesn’t really matter.  Everywhere is rubble now anyways, no matter what you can look up in the Archives.

D: How very…fatalistic of you.  How do you view Minerva’s policies?

T: What do you mean?

D: Well, how do feel about Minerva keeping so many resources, while the vast majority of people live without?

T: Well the way I see it, Minerva’s doing its best to help out as many people as it can.  They even trade with other nations to help out those beyond our borders.  There’s not much more that can be done at the moment.

D: There are some who feel that the answer is to expand Minervan territory and influence in order to better help the rest of the world.  What do you think on that?

T: I try to stay out of politics, but it seems idiotic to me to try to take on more than we have when we already have enough difficult protecting our current territory.

D: Very well, leaving behind politics and religion, let’s talk personal relationships.  How did you meet Jorge and Viktor?

T: I met Viktor in a bar fight in old Russia.  He and I started teaming up after that, doing a little vigilante work to clean up some towns in the area.  One day this kid, had to be like 16, came to us, asking us to come help his town out with a raider problem.  By the time we got there it was too late, but we and the kid were able to deliver justice to the raiders.  Turns out he was an excellent shot.  So when Jorge asked to join us, we gladly took him in.

God, I miss them.  I can’t even drink away the sorrow without thinking of all the times we had too much together.

D: … Yes, I’m sure.  How about romantic relationships?

T: No time nor inclination for them.

D: Not even with this Angeline Bellamí?

T: Who?  Oh, isn’t that the Oracle lady who programmed Jane? Definitely not.  Even if I did have the time, I’d need someone a little more down to earth.

D: So probably not with Jane than either?

T: You do realize Jane’s just a computer program, right?  What sort of freak would think about a computer that way?  I mean, she’s nice and all, but she doesn’t have a body.

D: So do you not view her as a person?

T: I didn’t say that.  I just … can’t think of her that way, you know?  But she’s more of a person than many of the stiffs around here, and a much better friend.

D: Speaking of Project Oracle, how long does it take you to get in and out of your suit?

T: Well, if I have my tech, Randy, to help, it normally takes about 30 minutes to get in, 15 minutes to get out.  It can be quicker if needed, but that’s not recommended.

D: How does the suit’s hygienic facilities work?  Have you ever had to relieve yourself while in the suit?

T: Are you seriously asking me how I crap while in my armor?  Just use your imagination.  It’s probably 10 times worse than that.  Better than dying because you couldn’t concentrate on the mission, though.

D: Last question, how are you coping with life after your injuries?

T: … I … we’re done.

D: Captain Dorje, get back here! We aren’t finished!

Well, allow me to state as my professional opinion that the patient is struggling to adjust to his new physical limitations, and that it is impacting him negatively socially, mentally and emotionally.

I again offer my appreciation to those who helped supply a barrage of “creative” questioning for Captain Dorje.  Ms. Jane was correct that they would be more effective than the standard questionnaire.

If anyone has suggestions for other questions I should ask the patient, please message me in the form below.

  • I notice we didn’t have the classic Boxers or Briefs question in here.

    • Well no one asked that!

      D: According to his nurses’ reports, Captain Dorje prefers boxer-briefs.

    • Honza Prchal

      Thank God. That was the road that paved the way to this Presidential election, with a brief detour around W.

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  • Maarten Spreij

    Hrm, I thought he lost his left leg.. (if I get annoying, let me know!)

    • Hehe you’re right. This is an old concept drawing Seba drew years ago :)

      • Maarten Spreij

        Aaah ok then :-)
        Question for Tenzin: if you had to give 1 – ok, 2 pieces of “life” advice to a large group of people, what would they be?

        • Tenzin: 1 – Situational awareness is an essential skill for anyone, anywhere. It has saved my life on more than one occasion. Practice it.

          2 – You can’t rely on anyone other than yourself in life. They’ll always let you down somehow. You can only count on and trust yourself.

  • LOL! He is pretty darn feisty.

    • He won’t put up with people pulling his leg XD


  • Tenzin’s reactions to these questions are both hilarious and tear-jerking.

    • Well good! That was kind of my hope in doing this :D

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  • Adriano

    Omg I’m so disappointed by his answers on romantic relationships !
    I think that’s breaking the hope I had seeing him and Angeline together…
    Damn you, Dan xD

    Another question for our heroe :
    “Are you the biological father of Jane ? 8D”

    • Tenzin: What the F are you talking about? She’s not my… Jane! You’re not my daughter, right?

      Jane: What? Eww! Gross! That doesn’t even make any sense!

      • Adriano

        Me : Okay, okay, sorry ! I just asked this cause Angeline is your mother, Jane !

        • Jane: Well, yeah, but not biologically! Adriano, you said your name was? I’ll have to put you on my…list. >:D

          • Adriano

            Me : Oh God yes Jane, put me on your list ! ♥

      • Adriano

        And thank you for the quick answer, Dan ;)

    • Hipopótamo

      Am I the only one ‘shipping Tenzin and Jane (though I really have puppy love in my mind)

  • Adriano

    Tenzin : What sort of freak would think about a computer that way ?
    Me : Well… I guess I’m the only one around…

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