16

Jul 2015

Chapter 7: Page 11 - SITREP

Posted by / in Comic / 148 comments

Good morning awesome people. New page for you, of course :)

Don’t really have anything new to say except keep being awesome?

Ooh, I know. I have a store set up, so what sort of things would you be interested in buying? I can even put logos and pictures on cups and bags and etc, so let me know.

  • And just to mess with Adriano, I’M stealing “first” comment :P

    • Nate the Robot

      Frist reply! (purposely misspelled)

      • Matt [in Middletown]

        Farst Rapply to the Reply!

        • DrCrazy102

          And Matt has stuck agin! XP

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            There is no escape!

            Oh..wait..there totally is..upper left on keyboard..darn.
            Foiled again..

          • DrCrazy102

            *Presses ‘Esc’* *Nothing happens* What? Oh no, the escape is broken! Nooo, the typos will get us all!

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            And it was then that the Typo Gang overwhelmed the beleaguered defenders of Textropolis and all was laid waste in typographical errors..

          • DrCrazy102

            *Looks in total disbelief at the carnage* This … is like looking at what happened to the Valkyries

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            It’s like the McDonald’s Drive Through French Fry accident all over again.

    • DeNitro

      Your house, Your rules.. Anyone with an issue, tell them to bring thier own beer to the party :-)

  • DeNitro

    And Mr. Brownsuit will,, Hand out cookies and give guided tours of the city to the invaders.. Take a lot to make me like that guy now..

    • NickDA

      Yeah he’s a real stunning specimen :D

    • Hornet

      Typical American politician…

      • Remind you of anyone in particular? I gave Seba a real life reference ;D

        • Hornet

          No, but then our government is full of Doves.

          • Ooh i more meant visually, not politically ;)

          • Ydo Ucare

            Definitely Metro Man.

            But in all seriousness, I’m about 99% sure I know which politician you’re referring to and I have to say that it’s kind of a strange choice. Are you trying to imply anything with that one, good sir?

          • Not much in the way of politically similarity at all, but you gotta admit, he certainly LOOKS like a politician ;)

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Someone in that room is a traitor…

          • DrCrazy102

            Hmmm, the scientist has been quite quiet during this meeting. Suspicion is aimed ;P

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            I don’t trust politicians…
            …scientists usually have that “what horrible thing can I discover today” thing going.

          • DrCrazy102

            Same, though I always think of it in these terms:
            Politician: I want to dominate the world!
            Scientist: I want to create the best thing ever! Oops, it went on a rampage and now I control the world, cool!
            XD

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            This is truly horrible, I MUST share it! -scientist.

          • DrCrazy102

            *Bows* I try sometimes

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            That is usually how hideous monsters escape labs and such, egghead sci type shows off the latest mutation.
            Nearby village gets eaten…

          • DrCrazy102

            and don’t have a clue how strong their own Frankensteins are

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            “This glass is strong enough to contain ze monstah!”
            *crash, obviously not*

          • DrCrazy102

            This 1MegaTonne nuke will stop it! *Detonates, feels aftershocks dissipate, looks outside* … *Jaw-drop* It’s breeding like the Gremlins after being in water!

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            It would appear that I found a coded message.

    • Matt [in Middletown]

      Solution to invaders: Build a trebuchet and toss politicians at them!

  • Delta-v

    if the invasion game was still running, and we had this nitwit as our opposition, We Sons of Mohammed would have been in Minerva by last Valentines Day, arguing with the Russian Federation and the Turkmen over who got what. ^^

    • This “nitwit” holding Aegis back is probably the only reason you weren’t exploded the day you left your palace :P

      • NickDA

        Yeah, in the game Dan was kinda personifying the nitwit… I was like “stealth airstrike!”, “long range artillery kill em”, and he vetoed that cuz it wouldn’t have been any fun… sigh.

        • Delta-v

          You have to balance things a bit to make it fun for everyone. What makes this guy a nitwit isn’t his restraint, it’s his arrogance in thinking he knows everything, and sneers at the military’s input. :)

          • DrCrazy102

            But, the tactical nukes? We can’t just stockpile them, can we? We’ve gotta use them on the enemies, right? *Looks to Sifo and @NickDA for support*

          • NickDA

            Think of their feelings… just sitting there, never realizing their potential… its just cruel.

          • DrCrazy102

            *Starts a campaign called “Free the Nukes from Non-Detonation” (FNDN)*
            Quick Nick, I just freed a nuke from its captivity, help me detonate it!

      • Delta-v

        Whatever happened to the Sons, I’m pretty sure the Russians would have been a tougher nut to crack, and the Turkmen are hard to see, let alone hit. ^^ And actually I was being uncharacteristically reserved for an absolute monarch with a bug up his backside about something he wanted.

  • Hipopótamo

    So this is what I missed for not playing the RPG…. Sigh

    • Delta-v

      Everyone I know who participated would like to try again. Watch Dan’s comment section under the comic and above the main Comments. He may eventually cave to our pressure. ^^

      • I’m down for doing it again, I’m just busy and need someone else to be in charge of it, basically.

      • Also, best way to get that active again? Make it just an active FORUM first. That’s why I linked to it in the menu, so people can use it as a forum if they like to discuss story things or just to chat and goof :D

  • Ydo Ucare

    So, just to clarify, that woman is NOT Jane, right? They look kinda similar, but given the context it wouldn’t make any sense for it to be her.

    Also, what TYPE of gel? :P

    • NickDA

      Maybe Jane has a role model she’s modeling herself after :D

      • DrCrazy102

        Wait, is this a bread-crumb or are you trying to mess with us Nick? If this is who Jane models herself after, I really don’t want to get on the bad side of the lady

        • Don’t forget, Nick knows nothing, he mostly just makes the money to pay Seba ;)

          • which Seba thinks its a very important part of the process :D

          • HEhehe, good point ;)

            I’m just saying Nick isn’t the best source for information on characters and their motivations and backstories ;)

          • NickDA

            But I will be the first to have this awesome image: http://demonarchives.com/minerva-chapter-four-nightmares/ adapted as a full sleeve tattoo by this awesome tattoo artist https://instagram.com/smarshalltattoo/ next January (huge stinking waiting list)… so that has to count for something.

          • NickDA

            I cry… but yeah… I am involved at like the 2 mile high level in a very very very macro sense with Dan… planning things like themes of the overarching story. The details of actual characters motives and past is like 80% Dan and 20% Seba and 0% Nick… the overarching tone of the story I do brainstorm with Dan.

            So yeah, its like my head cannon is only slightly more on spot than Jennifer’s when it comes to actual characters specifics :D.

          • I dunno, Jennifer’s headcanon is fairly convincing… ;)

    • She’s probably running a protein blot of some kind of some sweet bioengineering experiment ;)

    • Matt [in Middletown]

      Eventually they will let slip how the AI’s are made.
      There might be a reason this lady and Jane resemble each other.

      • Bah, I don’t think they look alike. Yes, they are both blonde, but that’s about it :P Eyes, face shape, hair color and style, all different :P

        • Matt [in Middletown]

          Lol.
          *hands Dan his glasses*

          • *squints* Ah. Yeah, they’re both fuzzy light haired women, that’s for sure ;P

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            You have them on upside down.
            8-D

          • Different :P

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Go back further in archive….
            …be sure to bring defensive weapons, an archive slog is like a dungeon crawl!
            (Image of Jane, chap 1. )

          • :P Touché. Jane does like trying different faces :)

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Just as long as previous owner isn’t missing theirs, no harm, no foul.
            It’d be extra creepy for someone to be making a human suit.

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            “It’s just my collection..”

          • Ahh, consistency!! My old archenemy. We meet again

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            It is entirely possible that Jane saw a face she liked and copied it for a bit.
            I’m not certain she has or ever will have a permanent self-image of what she “looks like” to herself.
            Since she can alter her look the same way we change shirts…
            …her outward appearance is merely “fashion”.

  • Honza Prchal

    When invaded from all sides by mercilessly violent attackers who destroy cities, the John McCain/Boris Yeltsin face melded chap starts by condemning the prospect of violence? Odd certainly and probably deeply off, but given the domestic origin of the death bot, not entirely implausible. Heck, it may even end up being a plot point. (If not, can they use a nuke to make a major local river flow south? - Seemingly random historical reference.)

    I like the presenter’s similarity to the AI and immediately assumed the young lady either has an agar culture or one of the old gels we used for electrophoresis back in the day (they used to take a long time and needed to be stopped) or perhaps old fashioned photo film. Further, I had to remind myself that they likely have UV lamps where they are so that the black gentleman can actually live in a place as chronically low-light as Siberia, just north of Ptolemy’s Hyperboria and the Cave of the Winds (Chinese/Tibetan/Mongolian borderlands within Russia proper).

    • NickDA

      I don’t feel I’ve ever clearly stated how much I love you guys as a commenting community. You guys are epic! (and yes on the gel she’s referring to like an electrophoresis gel for genetics/proteins etc)

      • Matt [in Middletown]

        “I’m growing a hideous monster, I have to be back in the lab in ten minutes before it breaks containment and eats the vending machine.”

    • Hehe, don’t worry, I’m sure Sifo either gets enough sun or has one of those S.A.D. UV lamps for his desk ;)

      • Dusty Coyote

        I have a Sad Lamp. You can tell because its light is blue. True story.

        • You and your puns :P

          • Dusty Coyote

            But it IS blue and it IS a SAD lamp.

          • Hehe, then that’s awesome :D I should get one for my wife. She hates the dreariness of winter.

          • Dusty Coyote

            I’m a desert rat and I got exported to a cloudy (well, cloudier) state. I imagine that Alaska would make me manic depressive and Seattle would just make me perpetually grumpy.

          • Desert rat high five! I grew up in Arizona :D Although I rather like rain, actually. Maybe as a nice contrast to the dry.

          • Dusty Coyote

            Same. All the Hopi and Navajo kids called me whitey.
            Of course you like the rain. Rain is life. Overcast? That is bloody useless.

    • DrCrazy102

      What is the reference? I’m curious now but I’m also sleepy and don’t want to stay up all night trying to find the reference

      • Honza Prchal

        Nuking rivers explained - Kruschev and some of his predecessors wanted to use nuclear explosions to peacefully to re-route one of the major south-North rivers (there are many, and they are huge, and they are near uselessly flowing to ice-fields - God blessed Russian Siberia with many of the world’s greatest rivers … and made them flow the wrong way) to the south. The plan is actually feasible.

        • DrCrazy102

          huh, wonder what would have happened with the fall out/radiation?

          • Amberlight

            The explosions would have been underground, so there wouldn’t be much radioactive material flying around. Besides, nukes aren’t that bad, relative to the nuclear power plants melting down. You’d have to detonate dozens if not hundreds of bombs to achieve a contamination level similar to Chernobyl reactor melting down.

          • DrCrazy102

            Why did this never happen? *Starts researching*

          • Amberlight

            Probably because they learned the lesson of Aral sea.

          • Honza Prchal

            Same as with Tsar Bomba, only smallerand more contained by earth -pretty sunsets for a while and slightly higher cancer rates for even longer spread out over a huge portion of the earth, a higher but not as much as you’d expect increase locally.
            Tac nukes, on the other hand, not such a big cancer problem since they’re fairly small.

  • I hope this guy is being wry in that last panel, because if he is, then that is quite an awesomely dry jab.

    • DrCrazy102

      Politicians, what else do they do besides hone their ‘jabbing’ comments?

  • Delta-v

    Oooh, store! Logo mugs and stickers; Deathbot Tees (“Just when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse…..”); Lily, Jane, Tenzin mugs/stickers/Tees; *cough* *deep gasp* patches; snarky Jane sayings ringtones (Start auditioning): gotta have lunchboxes,-it’s traditional; logo pens complete with URL… Matt!. Adriano! Everybody! Help me out here!

    • Adriano

      Wow I gotta rob that store ;D

      • DrCrazy102

        Seconded, but I’ll use my D-Bot from the Russian Lab Gift Store

    • Matt [in Middletown]

      Thermos.
      Labeled as Deathbot power core.

      • I should hire a graphic designer to make some of these. I tried my hand at it, did not turn out so great.

        • Matt [in Middletown]

          Well, likely there would be a lot number then a serial number, below that a nomenclature title followed by more identifying marks possibly safety info and weight data.
          Kinda hard to make hideous mil spec labeling look pretty.
          And the more obtuse the wording and phrasing of the nameplate, the better.
          Ask any soldier who has read the nomenclature tags on their equipment.
          Cap, cold weather, microfiber.
          Motorcarriage, gun, M3
          In near seventy years, the labels haven’t been improved..

          • What, no fancy names like “TrouserTEK 2000!”? ;)

          • Dusty Coyote

            Lois Bidder wins most of the contracts and she’s one of those no frills kind of people that views things like proper stitching, pockets, and color fastness as extra perks.

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            As well as “fabric ability to bend”.
            One set of uniforms acted like they were made from armor plate.
            Edit: those perks also cost more per revision.

          • Dusty Coyote

            This button need to be removed.
            Actually, it will cost more to remove the button than to keep it there.

            … Really?
            Yes.
            Guess the soldier will have to remove the button.

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            These waist adjustment tabs, we don’t need them.
            *tabs deleted*
            Now let’s add a drawstring!

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Nope!
            You only get obtuse naming convention on things actually out there.
            No, the COOL names get used on things they’ll never field, like PHASEr

          • Dusty Coyote

            Cool names are used to market things. Stuff asked for by the government gets a serial number.

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Yup, and gets a nameplate with as bland a name as they could stick on it.
            They seem to have an old Webster’s Dictionary editor preserved somewhere whose job it is to look an item over and decide on the nomenclature.
            He has feels no pity, no remorse, and he absolutely will not stop until everything has a bland name.

          • Hehe. Bland name instead of brand name :)

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Buy Bland Name brand products or be DESTROYED!
            That would be a hysterical ad campaign.

        • Chris

          Jane Pen that does that magical thing when you turn it upside down.

          You know the one where all her… *FCC CENSOR”.

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            “I can see her coding!”
            *instahacked*

    • Adriano

      How about some Oculus Security sun glasses ?

    • Adriano

      Or some TDA cosplay ?
      Or you could sell a siri appli with Jane’s voice.

      • DrCrazy102

        Imagine Jane answering “what’s zero divided by zero?”.

  • Adriano

    Delta, you see that hot blonde chick ? She’s my new love *p* Better than Jane ;)

    • *The lieutenant breaks all your limbs after you unsuccessfully hit on her*

      • Matt [in Middletown]

        *roll for saving vs evisceration*

      • Adriano

        F***ing. Worth. It.
        *ends like Tenzin*

        • Dusty Coyote

          You should do this yoga pose.

          • Adriano

            I’m not good at yoga. I’m better at lazyga.

          • Dusty Coyote

            Thought you would have gone with Yo Adriano and a rocky reference. But ok.

          • Adriano

            Sorry but I don’t get you.

          • Dusty Coyote

            Its a scene from Rocky. Dont worry. Its ok.

    • Delta-v

      She’s cute all right, Adriano, but she’s woefully lacking in snark. Snark in a relationship is like hot pepper sauce on eggs. Once you get used to it, anything less is just too bland. ><

      • Adriano

        Oh. What does mean snark ? I forgot…

        • Delta-v

          Sorry about the delay. Disqus doesn’t tell me about replies to my comments until the Disqus Digest comes out. :(

          Snark (usually “snarky”) means sarcastic, irreverent, pointed. “Burns” and “put-downs” would be snarky, as would deflating the ego of a pompous ass. Snarkyness is usually funny to everyone but the victim.

          President Smith is trying to be snarky, but is botching the job. He’s gone all the way to “troll”.

          • Remind me to show you how to change that setting ;)

  • Xylas Incarnum

    to the white haired gentleman in the bottom right pannel:
    Your soldiers are being slaughtered by a robot trying to do their jobs on defending the local societies that request aid and you’re AGAINST violence? The best damn squad you had has already been wiped out save for Tenzin. Violence is very much something to improve on.
    Well, the sommat cooled methodical violence anyways. Hot heads tend to die first. Those that don’t are very very good at combat… and scary if not on your side.

    I can see being against mindless violence but in this case, violence is very much a good plan so long as it’s done right, and I’ll agree with the not liking of bombing stuff, airships? Recon to keep an eye on those damn things is always a good idea.
    Where are the plans for EMP prototypes, maybe in sticky bomb form.

    • DrCrazy102

      Not just the best squad save Tenzin, but the second best squad (possibly) ‘The Valkyries’ with a possibly survivor in Jacquelyn Rattray.

      I so want Sifo Kubek to say “yes, tactical nukes are next” but that’s so unlikely to happen. EMPs would also scramble the AIs in the suits which might cause problems since we know that AIs have some access of control of the suit’s mobility, unless the soldiers go in light or tactical armor.

      • Chris

        Read the map. Valkyries = 0 survivors.

        Based on the attack pattern of the last robot it was not taking hostages.

        • Xylas Incarnum

          and two survivors in Arkjut… wait that was Tenzin and Lily wasn’t it?

          Hmmm… yeah, Where’s that rail gun like shotgun at anyways… *rummages around in some crates.*

          • DrCrazy102

            *Helps to rummage* Hey, I found the tactical nuke! Think we should use it?
            Mr. Smith: NO VIOLENCE AGAINST THE INVADERS! I’ve already told Sifo what to not do and I expect you to follow that example
            *Presses detonation button while looking at Mr Smith*

          • Honza Prchal

            ;-) I not only like how you think, but am reall grooving to the “murder of crows” suggestion in your sig file image.

          • DrCrazy102

            Hmm, never really looked at it as “murder of crows” but certainly a theme being created here. Usually I try for more trickster/smartass approach but sometimes you just need to get in there and do some killing large-scale to fix the problem. Disclaimer to the kiddies: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME except in RPGs and MMOs ;p

          • Honza Prchal

            Sometimes the only thing left to a man is to hoist the black flag and set sail on a voyage of mayhem - paraphrasing Mencken.

          • DrCrazy102

            I like using the M.A.D. Strategy when I’m screwed in a game, whether online, console, or physically based. Really helps when I am mad at something in the game (puns, they are everywhere XD ). Unfortunately, real world application sucks for some reason DX

          • Honza Prchal

            Do the others ALSO have WMD? If so, how much. It isn’t MAD if it isn’t mutual, and if it is not, there’s no reason for the good guys NOT to go nuke if the attackers all like to massacre entire towns and use the few surviving children as bait. That’s just slow WMD. No reason not to nuke an enemy like that we’ve been shown … worse than Ghengis’ Mongol Horde … see also the Reavers from Firefly or the living dead from any zombie flick.

          • It is interesting that everyone seems to assume that these invaders are the same people who sent the deathbots. ;)

          • Honza Prchal

            Based on previous demonstrations of other invader behavior, seems like lots of murder and rape are the m.o. … so there are some some parallels there, but obviously a good point.
            Still mass casualty events are a good way of deterring slavers. Death and carnage and nothing to show for it can affect one’s risk/benefit calculus.
            Unless … the invaders fear an army of deathbots/smrtbot/koschei and have come to liberate the world from that evil! Yeah … that’s it. It’s the AI, all along! Go, go, lesser evils! I kid. I hope.

        • DrCrazy102

          Oops, edit time

      • Xylas Incarnum

        Well, yeah. That’d be ideal. or tactical emp carpet bomb the things.

        Then again a sticky emp could possibly be restricted to frying the circuits of just what it’s stuck to by making the outside of it a make-shift microwave… hmmm… Granted, that’s not an actual electro magnetic pulse but… would still work I think.

  • Adriano

    Okay Dan, what’s your email so I can know where tosend my fanart ?

    • It’s Dan at demonarchives dot com. :D

      • Adriano

        I’m betting my reputation that Matt will love it !!

        • Matt [in Middletown]

          UH oh..

          • Adriano

            I’ll finish it tomorrow I think.
            Nothing fancy, I’m a brick at drawing.

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Advanced Tactical Brick for the win?

          • Is good plan.

          • Matt [in Middletown]

            Smart BRICK, has an iff system and proximity sensor!

  • Neil Kapit

    She’s like a TV weather lady, except instead of weather she’s predicting carnage!

    • DrCrazy102

      Tomorrow’s prediction is a slight increase in D-Bot related explosions and carnage, while we see that the barbarian alliance is quickly approaching Minerva HQ despite the high resistance system of Minerva’s defence troops located around Minerva HQ.

      Make sure you stock up on tactical nukes to survive the coming barbarian s***-storm

      • Adriano

        Best. Comment. Ever.
        10/10 no water

        • DrCrazy102

          Thank you Adriano *bows*

  • DrCrazy102

    This is probably answered in the backstory and Lore but what do the different coloured triangles mean? Besides being Minerva troops

    • Here we made a map legend for it: https://www.patreon.com/posts/2427525

      • DrCrazy102

        Oh gods, the temple troops are so organised and large! Everyone else is kind of scrambled and then there’s the temple just coming in nice orderly rows and columns! The horror that is to be unleashed!
        Edit: Thanks Daniel!